I seem to be reading a lot (especially on the ftm comm) about feelings of guilt and offensiveness.
I don't feel guilty about anything, nor do I take offense to anything. I say what is on my mind, normally accompanied with a rationale if I am unable to come up with a justification. I don't feel guilty about the thoughts my brain comes up with, and I don't believe I have ever committed any actions that I ought to feel guilty about. In the same vein, I don't take offense to anything anyone says. They are either right or wrong; it certainly isn't my place to educate them when they're wrong, and that line normally just leads to an argument anyway. I'd rather ignore their wrongness than get into an argument. I would love for everyone to agree with me, but I accept that they probably don't, I tell myself that this is because I am smarter than them, that generally makes me feel better.
So if someone tells me that I am going to Hell because I am transgendered (totally hypothetical), I have two responses:
(In my head): Your concept of Hell amuses me and labels you as religious, which means you are already not even registering on my radar as someone with anything to say worth listening to.
(Actual response): "Okay" with a smile and walk away.
I was accused of mysogyny recently for using the term 'bitch'. Firstly I thought 'how is that mysogyny?'. Although the term originally was used to refer to a female dog, it is now mostly used (where I am anyway) as the verb 'to bitch' meaning to whine, moan, complain. The noun refers to a person who 'bitches'. I considered making this argument. But, after looking up the technical definition of mysogyny (on the greatest reference source on the internets - wikipedia), and discovering that it means 'hatred or dislike of women', maybe I am one.
I don't like women. I generally don't get on with them; tried living with some and it was hell. They annoy me. And none of this is my fault. I wouldn't be offended if someone told me they didn't like trans-folk, I'd just go my way and let them go theirs.
Maybe this is all down to the very solitary way I live my life; only really communicating through the internets, only stomaching social situations when very very drunk, and for the most part coming up with excuses to avoid having to deal with anyone sober.
Guilt seems to cause a lot of people a lot of problems. I feel like yelling 'just get over it!' but maybe they can't. When people accuse me of being offensive I usually just get very confused and don't understand why words (sounds caused by exhalation around the shaping of lips and tongue - audible only for the instant in which they are spoken) can't just be forgotten if they are found to be unpalatable.
Any argument for the typed word being more permanent is also moot, as the words are only there when they are being looked at; if you don't like it, don't read it. Forget it.
When anything is said to me it can be right or wrong, anything wrong will be ignored. It may be positive or negative, depending on the situation I may or may not ignore it. See example:
Right & positive: "You are very clever" - This I will acknowledge and remember, future thoughts from this person may have greater value.
Right & negative: "You aren't very nice" - Whilst this is true, what is the point of saying it? I already know. You are stating the obvious, with no point.
Wrong & postive: "You look like you've lost weight" I am suspicious of the motives of people who either lie, or see through rose-tinted glasses. I don't trust anything they say after this.
Wrong & negative: "You're stupid" - This will simply be ignored. No retort, just a complete loss of respect for anything this person ever utters again.
Why can't other people use this guide? So the next time I declare rather loudly that I think vegetarians are anti-evolutionary morons, they can put that comment into whichever category they feel it fits within and take their own private personal action without trying to 'educate' me. Folks, I am very clever; nothing you say will alter an opinion that I have cultivated, don't even try.
- Forget male or female... I don't even think I'm human