Okay, so anyone who knows me is aware that I fail at social integration, but I would like nonetheless to post my findings on the science behind frienships. Call it an outsider's perspective.
The one-on-one friendship is most easily dissected; two people who benefit mutually from each other's attributes, ie: a person who likes to listen might befriend a person who likes to talk. In addition to this give-and-take aspect (which I could probably handle) the two people involved in the friendship would have to have minimal conflicting opinions (no one agrees with my opinions, so this is probably why I have no friends), ie: it's all well and good being in a talker/listener relationship, but if the opinions of each party differ, then surely the listener will stop listening? If the two persons are into different movies/music/food/activities in general, then what would they do together? It seems to me that most friendships spawn from a mutual appreciation of a form of media (movies/music/comics etc), without regard for this give-and-take that I previously mentioned... I just don't get it.
I don't have any friends.
I don't NEED any friends (seriously, what can they do besides take up my time?)
Yet people seem horrified when I say this. "Oh, surely you must have some friends? Not even one? That's so sad!" Why is it sad? I'm not lonely, in fact I love being on my own, I'm happiest when I'm alone. Again, this is usually met with a chorus of "That's so sad!"
If I woke up tomorrow and I was the only person left on the planet I would be ecstatic. Of course, I would miss my immediate family, and I might be bored once I'd watched all the DVDs and read all the fanfic out there, but for the most part I would be relieved that I didn't have to put up with other people and their questionable beliefs.
I think even if I wanted a friend I'd struggle to find someone I could put up with who could in turn put up with me. I've tried in the past. There's a girl at work who is very much like me only considerably less educated, being near her is like being confronted with a depressingly unflattering mirror.
Maybe that's another reason I can't handle friendship: most of the world is beneath me (one of my less popular opinions), and I feel threatened/intimidated by anyone I perceive to be 'better' than me (I've met one person like this, a boyfriend, I broke up with him for a whole heap of reasons, one of which being that I thought I'd just end up making him miserable in the long run).
I think I have an ingrowing toenail, it is seriously irritating.
Also, I just went to try to buy Guitar Hero Warriors of Rock guitar bundle for ps3 on Amazon where it's been £35 for the last week, today however, when I'm sat there with my bank card out ready to make a purchase, the bastard thing suddenly costs £65! I screamed at the screen. Might have a peek at ebay.